Men!!!!!

Seriously!

I was reading a blog post from Mamamia and I told DH I wanted to link it to Facebook because I thought it was a very good, very informative and timely article (cos I am sick of comments from people about my tummy, two of the girls at church suspect I am pregnant and I keep seeing sideways looks at my tummy... and yes, I am paranoid and sensitive but it doesn't change the fact). I asked his input because, obviously, if I put something like that up, it would impact on him too.

Anyway, we got into quite a heated discussion of how he believes there are some things that we only share with family and a few close friends, if that, and miscarriage is one of them. I said that I think it is wrong that we are quite free to discuss the loss of a friend, relative or pet but no one wants to discuss the loss of a baby either through miscarriage or still birth. He thinks it entirely inappropriate to share that sort of information with people that aren't immediate friends or family and definitely not with men. I said I thought it sad that there was such a taboo about a genuine loss that so many women experience.

As usual, he didn't really hear my perspective and we just ended up shitty with each other. Needless to say, I didn't post the link to FB because I don't want it to have a negative impact on him that he isn't prepared for or able to cope with.

And I think that is the crux of it because he said about an hour later how uncomfortable he felt when a lady from church, who he knows but isn't all that friendly with, asked him how he was on Sunday in such a way as to indicate that she was aware of my miscarriage (thanks to the gossip grapevine, not me). So I think what it really comes down to is he has the emotional range of a teaspoon and if and when there may be some emotion, he certainly doesn't want it to be public in any way, shape or form. And that I think is where his overreaction and need for secrecy lies. There is no way in the world he would acknowledge it or admit to it though.

So, I will say again... Men!!!!