Shhhh....

Just thought I would write this somewhere so hopefully I won't forget it. On Sunday night I was praying about not being pregnant, and wondering if I was, and all of those thoughts that go around and around in your head when you are infertile and you long so much to have more children.

I started thinking about something a good friend (thanks Ange!) had said to me about maybe praying for an answer as to whether or not I will have more children or whether I am done. So I decided to pray about that and I got a very good sense of peace from God that I would have at least one more child. I couldn't quite get a sense of whether it was one or more children (because my stupid head and thoughts kept intruding because I want lots of children) but there was definite peace in my heart. So now, I guess it is a matter of patiently waiting until the time is right. I know I will have another child. I hope I can continue to believe it through all I may have to journey through to get there.

God knows I am not patient, especially when waiting on Him to do something, so I guess I may be in for a bit of a wait while I learn patience and trust.

I just find it so hard to trust things like that because I can't help but think that maybe it is my wishful thinking and my deepest desires that I heard, and not an aaurance from God. How do we ever really know? I am trusting because of the sense of peace I had with it. I don't know if that is how people know or not, but that is what I am holding on to.