Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Little, or not so little, green monster

I WANT to be happy for people who are pregnant or give birth. I REALLY want to be happy for them. I know how much joy and pleasure and happiness there is with new life and I want everyone I know to experience that.

But I am not happy. I am jealous and hurting. I don't want to be jealous or envious. I don't want to resent them and their happiness. I want to celebrate their happiness with them.

But instead I find I am resentful, angry and hurting. There is no joy for them, just a gaping wound and a deep, soul destroying ache.

I hate me for feeling this way. I don't want to be that person.

1 comment:

bir said...

me too and me neither... ♥