Count down is on.... until 8 week ultrasound on Friday

I am hanging in there, barely, as I wait for my 8 week scan on Friday. It has been a rough couple of days given that my baby stopped growing at 7 weeks last year (even though I didn't know it until my miscarraige at 11 weeks). So of course, this time when I hit the 7 week mark I can't help but be worried and to top it off I have had a rotten cold. My stomach is killing me from all of the coughing. Well, I'm assuming it's from the coughing and not something worse.

Last year I had just started a gym program, with the guy knowing I was 7 weeks pregnant so designing an easy, pregnancy safe, program for me. I know it's probably illogical or irrational but I haven't been able to do any exercise so far this pregnancy as I am scared it will cause another miscarriage, not that there is anything to say that is what happened last time. Ah, irrational fears! But I have made an appointment with my gp for next week so that once I have my ultrasound on Friday and see all is well, I will talk to her about who I can go and see to get a good, solid, pregnancy friendly exercise program for strengthening my core without causing harm.

One of the good things about ivf is that it puts you over the Medicare Safety Net threshold so I now get 80% or 85% of my costs back. So currently my psych is now costing me $8.40 instead of $42.50 (up front cost is $160 but I get it straight back). I am hoping my gp can refer me to a physio who uses Medicare so that it won't cost me much at all.

I am still trying not to hope and trying not to symptom watch but it is so hard not to do either of those things. I am so grateful for my either 24/7 or sporadic bouts of nausea. This morning I noticed my veins are much more prominent so of course that brought a little more hope to me. I'm not sure if my extreme tiredness is pregnancy related or cold related; probably a bit of both. With DD I had 3 bouts of very minor nausea and that was it, but was absolutely, completely, utterly exhausted. This time the exhaustion isn't quite so extreme but the nausea is much more present.

Well, as a final thought cos really I am just rambling for me as I do want to journal this pregnancy, I heard these lyrics in a song on the way to work and I really liked them -

"You see the depths of my heart
and You love me the same
You are amazing God".

When I think of all the doubts, distrust, fears etc that are hidden deep inside, I am amazed that God loves me just the same. What an awesome and comforting thought.

Bring on Friday!!!!