Why am I always waiting for Friday to come???

After embryo transfer I had to wait until the following week's Friday for my blood test to find out if I was pregnant. Today I booked in for my 8 week ultrasound and again I am waiting for next week's Friday to arrive so I can have my scan and find out if all is OK with this bub and this pregnancy. I thought Friday's never came when i was working full time, this waiting for Fridays to find out if I am pregnant and if it is all going OK is sooooo much worse!

I spoke to DH about this feeling of disconnection from this pregnancy and was surprised to hear he is feeling the same, although I suppose in reality it isn't surprising he feels the same. I think I will start to feel much better after the 8 week scan and better again after the 12 week one when I know all is on track and all is going as it should be.

This inability to commit or connect with my pregnancy has me thinking about how much harder it must be for those who have carried their bubbas longer or even to term, only to lose them. I can't imagine how hard it would be to go through another pregnancy after that. I don't know if, or when, you would feel connected to your new child. And it grieves me to know that people go through that. I know too many people who have experienced that; both the loss of a bub or bubbas after 20 weeks and also the loss of their baby at or closely following birth. It is tragic and heart breaking. I hate that I know so many, not because I hate knowing them but because I hate how common it actually is. It is too unfair.

Of course my thoughts are on things like that right now as I wait to find out if this pregnancy is a "sticky one". I so hope it is and I kinda know it is because I am sure God has told me all will be well, but I can't help but wonder if I misheard or if I was hearing my wishes, not His voice, on this. I want to trust but I don't know how to. There will be much rejoicing and praising God when this bubba arrives safe and sound.