Well, what can you say/think/do when you tell someone how you are truly feeling and you are met with dead silence? I guess the "how are you?" wasn't genuine cos they certainly didn't want to know the truth. I am sorry that my truth and honesty confronted them where they are at and I know it isn't easy to know what to say but for fuck sake, I lost a baby, I am not going to be a happy camper just now. I need to grieve and yes, there is and will be raw emotions and deep pain for a while yet. But I am sorry. I thought we were friends and that you were genuinely asking. I guess not. I guess it isn't OK for me to have questions for, and about, God.
I knew this trusting people thing was a dumb idea. Somewhere along the way I got conned into thinking it was what people do and it was OK.
Talk about unmet expectations. I didn't expect a theological answer. An "i don't know what to say" or an "I'm sorry it is so tough" or even just a hug would have been OK.
Think I need to reassess and reevaluate. Maybe some time and space to protect myself is needed. Think I'll just build that wall back up.
I will grin and bear it and in future say "I am fine, thanks for asking" with a happy smile on my face. We can all go back to pretending all is well and that there is no grief, pain, heartbreak or doubt in the world.
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